I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
