please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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