if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize