My hand turned me down
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
