I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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