I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize