No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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