We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
