Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
