I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
