You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
