Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
