I think i peed on brittanys purse
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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