About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
