There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
soo... how was my night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
