Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
