She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize