That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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