The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
