I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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