it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
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So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
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I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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