Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
