I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
