i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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