dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
