this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
