what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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