I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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