There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
