Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
