I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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