New low: just hacked my moms facebook
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
