Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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