she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
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idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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