I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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