We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
