Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
