Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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