Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
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Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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