Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
