I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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