ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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