As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
be right there i have to get my cape
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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