they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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