did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize