I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize