She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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