shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize