im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
