Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
