i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
