Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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