I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
