you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
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