Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he thought i was a dude.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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