Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Randomize
