Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
