They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
