I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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