Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
