I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
