come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
