i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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