Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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