Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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