i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
