Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
