Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
