you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
