So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
