$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize