I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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